Remember your parents telling you, “this is going to hurt me more than you”, before delivering the spanking of a lifetime? And no good conversation ever starts with “we need to talk”. In fact, each one stirs up the memories of that feeling of impending doom — which is the feeling I get as I am about to tell someone I can no longer serve them alcohol. Oh, how I DREAD this talk.
I feel a tremendous amount of agita in this moment. We are having such a good time. We are enjoying each other’s company. Sharing laughs and little stolen glances. We are even on a first name basis! How much I wish for this feeling to never end. I tried to tell you things were moving too fast. We should slow things down. Just savor the moment.
Now things have taken a turn.
I try to break it to you gently. I lean in. I smile. I use my softest whisper. I give you my most reasonable explanation about why we cannot go on like this. Suddenly, you’re not looking at me the way you used to. I thought I gave you all the signs that this was coming. Now, you are staring at me in disbelief, as if I just kicked your dog. Even your friends are mad at me!
I am not saying that we are over. We just need a break. A little space. Time to miss each other. I promise, this will all look better in the morning. I hope you learn to hate me a little less. Heck, you may even be glad things turned out the way they did.
Truth be told, I would rather let you drink like a fish than have to see the look on your face when I deliver such news. Try not to take it personally. It’s me. Not you. The idea of something happening to you is a burden I just cannot bear.