I am no Emily Post, BUT…

Consider this a public service announcement.

There has been a rash of ill-mannered people on the loose.  I am not sure where they are coming from.  I have looked under several rocks, but have not found their nest yet.

Peek-a-boo

Peek-a-boo

Here is a list of the offenses and my internal dialogue/struggle:

OFFENSE                                                  MY SOLUTION

Loud, open-mouthed burping                   A ninja punch to the throat

Talking with mouth full of food               Wrap your face in napkin, knot tightly at neck

Piling discarded snot rags on bar           Don hazmat suit, employ cootie spray

Loud talking                                                 A swift ninja punch to the mouth

Loud talking on cell phone                        Take my wet bar towel, snap in your eye

Incessant, loud dropping ‘F-bomb’         Soap your mouth, call your mother

Invade other patron’s personal space    Death stare with UFC Peruvian Necktie

Raised in a barn?

Childhood home?

There are several more offenses that can be added to this list.  Feel free to share your’s. But leave your remedy as well.  Because if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

Xo, Amy

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