Consider this a public service announcement.
There has been a rash of ill-mannered people on the loose. I am not sure where they are coming from. I have looked under several rocks, but have not found their nest yet.
Here is a list of the offenses and my internal dialogue/struggle:
OFFENSE MY SOLUTION
Loud, open-mouthed burping A ninja punch to the throat
Talking with mouth full of food Wrap your face in napkin, knot tightly at neck
Loud talking A swift ninja punch to the mouth
Loud talking on cell phone Take my wet bar towel, snap in your eye
Incessant, loud dropping ‘F-bomb’ Soap your mouth, call your mother
Invade other patron’s personal space Death stare with UFC Peruvian Necktie
There are several more offenses that can be added to this list. Feel free to share your’s. But leave your remedy as well. Because if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.